Im desperate.

for weightloss for support .

im at 184

please help me

i want to lose 20 lbs by christmas.

ana where are you?

wow its been a while!

so like school started and everything was cool but the bullshit as always had to happen! my friends all of a sudden decided i didn't exists anymore. Which is alright cuz they sucked anyways. so i pretty much was forced in to finding new friends bu i just hung out with some old ones :). (im so anti social). so i was walking around with my friend when we stopped to talk to this chick (who i would have never talked to myself cuz shes cooler than me) and she and her friend were chowing down on burritos and their stick thin!!!!those girl were freaken models, and i realized that becouse they were stick thin it wasn't awkward when they ate. so i longed for that to wear their stupid tight pants and feel great!!

so i wanted to just run to bathroom and throw up!!!

i want to be like them!!!!! grrr!!!

i have skin/hair like them all i need to do is have a body like theirs. i shop at the same places as them.

so i have to get as thin as them cuz now im at 186!!!

so from now on its only veggies and fruit.

and working out like a crazy whore!!!

Just got my. Laptop their will be more post i promise

Aww :( i can only do small posts :(

@ i have to get back on my feet... I woke up @ 6:56 am. I havent eaten sofar and its around 9:46. I plan on having a slice of toast later on. 70 cals

love

@ r alone. Ugh!!! Homework!! Wich is an other distraction aside from boys, friends,test,reasearch papers, oh and did i mention boys?!? Ughh... But for now

@ cuz Im back to my starting weight. But skool is also a good thing cuz it means back to skipping lunch. And i can use home work as an excuse to eat dinne

@ Hey guys im currently writting. From my phone. I've been a bad girl...all summer nothing but a big binge i go back to skool 2morrow wih makes me Nervouse

ugh its been awhile but ive maneged to get my chubby little hands on a computer with internet sadly i have bad new im at 173 now this stinks. i also have a stramge tale to tell i was walking with my friend and her really hot brother when my friend stumble and in an attemp to catch her balance grabbed my arm and brought me down with her shes an really big girl . bigger than me by alot. she fell and i hit the ground harder than..something that would hit the ground hard. so were on the floor and i start to giggle as i always o when im injured. and his eyes widen and he tells his sister to get off becouse i looked to fragile for her fat ass to be falling on me. and my slow amazon woman mind did not take take this as a compliment. and i said excuse me? he said becouse i was all lil and petite . im anything but lil so this confused me alot my whole life i was the tall girl guys didnt want to square dance with in thirdgrade. so then he went on about how he was so tall and hot and how i was so small and cute to him. im thinking this guy is half blind. so this confused is it possible to a different number in a scale but i touch the fat and its there thats something that my brain cant trick into believing. im confused by this and im trying not to let it distract me from my goals. please my millions of followers tell me what you think ill be sure to read your guyses comment wen i can sneak around another relatives computer.
bye tone of love and positve thoughts,
AN.
ps. i started watching this new series called pretty lil iars the girls are gorgouse and thin. i love that show for thinspo.

omg new low

omg im sorry my two followers!!!! ive been gone for super long cuz my internets was cut down!!! new low! 165. idk when ill be able to post again.

bullshit

for a couple of days i had this idea that i could figure out a healthy way to lose weight.
bulshit! bullshit!!

that was a totally dumb thing to Good thing i snapped out of it in time other wise fatty mcfafat would be blogging here.until tomorrow I'll be making a plan to lose shit loads of weight in little while. so ya.

I'll see my invisible commenter in while. (no one reads my blog:( )

lovez. A.N

Unless you don't have heart you will find this sad

178. if i can weigh 175 by march 31 I'm good

is it wierd to like throwing up

I ate...threw it up
I ate... threw it up
I ate... didn't throw up

But today I exercised all of 142 calories of my break fast off.
And I'm waiting to weigh in

I wrote this so I would remember my thoughts.

I always write short post because i forget my thoughts so this time I wrote them down while they were fresh.

It started out like such a lovely afternoon.
-my stomach was empty
-I was out with my friends
We spent most of the trip looking at swimsuits and complaining about our bodies, (ironically) we had icees/slushies or whatever they're called. Then, I came home like a hungry cave woman I ate about 5 or 6 plates of different things. I looked at my fat self in the mirror...I had to do it I had throw up. I rushed Into the bathroom and undressed quicker than the horny teenagers in movies. I climbed into the shower, turned on the water. I wet my self completely my hair was curled by the water. I sat down on my hands and knees, stuck my finger down my throat...it happens...I take a small break... try to repeat but its to far, i waited too long i digested most of it.Good thing I had opened the bathroom window or I would not have been able to breathe. I finish washing my self. that's the good thing about throwing up in the shower you can wash away the smell No one hears what you do. I wash my hair, the hair i constantly get complemented on by my relatives. I would trade this hair for a thin body. Thin hair but a thin body. Maybe thick hair is for thick girls. thick is just a nice word for fat just like curvy.

how I looked when I wrote this down...
-still naked from my shower (lol)
-my eyes red and sad
-my cheeks red
I poked my face looking for bones making sure it wasn't just made out of fat. I saw part of my collar bones:)
...I try soooo hard but its never enough. My phys ed teacher in 5th grade used to say "You haven't tried hard enough if you haven't thrown up or fainted".
She was right.

loves,
A.N

how do you tell people the peircing is fake?

ok s the title explains the major problem. but other than that life is good my brother is visiting soon, which is great. I'm a vegetarian. yay.
so I'll start that diet with broken mirrors.

fail

i was forced into eating so i quit I'll star again tomorrow

I'll never do it again but i keep giving in

I blame my mother she made eat. binges suck.

oops i already brushed my teeth

I'm sorry i already brushed my teath the food will just taste gross. sorry mum

"put some new pictures up and quit denying your size"

ok sorry I hadn't blogged for while. soo.... I dindn't fallow through ic binged alot so clean slate every timei binge i feel like i didn't need the food so i just wish it was just 2morrow 2 starz al oV3Rz aGaInz . I !z fl!p!N p!ssed 0ffz so wUt na0z. wuz haPpen!n' w1t m3h. srry ittly typ1n likzz i t3xtz.
iz d1z anoyy1ngz? I'll stop so. ever wqonder why them scene chicks are so thin cuz they listen to diz song.


I think itz thinspo-ish (reverse)And its by a band i actually like so yahz.

yay!! Now I know I'm not alone!!!!
I had 2 pancakes and 1 glass of milk:( = 710 cals
but no more I promise!!!!!
WHY THE FUCK AM I SO PEPPY!!!!
IDK
MAYBE CUZ I'M CRAZY!!!!!
GREAT!!!!
i need help.
OH WELL DON'T WE ALL!
CUZ WE ARE ALL FREAXX!!!!
OK MAYBE I'M THE ONLY FREAK HERE.
calm down A.n
CALM DOWN!!!!
HAHA *EVIL LAUGH*!!!

Ok srry. i guess i just had a creepiness attack well whatever.
i just need to breathe.....
...



...

...

ok I'm good.

loves and craziness
A
N
ps. wouldn't it be cooler if this was some kind of voice blog.

huh

so i was doing grate until i was force fed tacos. well I'm exaggerating, but i didn't really want them. Actually I was hungry but i didn't want the calories. :( so this sucks but i guess it happens. (No you loser your the only that fucks up this badly). It would be easier if had ppl reading this.:(

so far so good

i had light progresso soup so far so good :)

first post ever

well. hi I'm not posting my real name just call me An . I'm going to try this pro Ana stuff see how it goes. I'm very immature. I love hello kitty. yes I'm obsessed. but enough of that so this will be my blog of my weight loss journey :)